


Time Lords at Hogwarts

by Caralinguiel



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-10-09 02:32:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17398331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caralinguiel/pseuds/Caralinguiel
Summary: The Doctor and the Master, who look (and sometimes act) like eleven-year-olds, blow a hole in their universe and arrive at Hogwarts. Of course, after the Year That Never Was, the Master was cured of his insanity, and they became best friends again... And now they are causing trouble in other universes. Based off of Fairyqueen101's story. Updates twice a year. Working title.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Hogwarts' Lords](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/448712) by Fairyqueen101. 



> Visit Hogwarts?
> 
> Note: This is based off of Fairyqueen101's story, "Hogwarts' Lords", since it was so awesome and hadn't been updated for 5½ years.
> 
> Basically, the Master is cured at the end of YTNW, and -insert how- they got to another universe (the Harry Potter universe). They decide to have fun. P.S: The Master is sane, and their back to being BFFs.
> 
> Bold is quoting Fairyqueen101 because, well, I don't know enough about DW, sadly… Anyhow, if she wants me to change it or take it down I'll go do that, since it was her brilliant idea in the first place. I just wish more people made stories like that, and finished it! .-.
> 
> Okay, I think the reason for using her words is because… I wouldn't have it any other way. It just stuck with me, I guess.
> 
> Start Date: January 5, 2018

**Chapter One**

"Thete! Let's go to another universe and mess around!" the Master whined for the fiftieth time. "You know, blow a hole through the universes the size of Belgium? Anyway, we  _did_  make a promise to visit every single planet in the galaxy. Why not just go to another universe?"

The Doctor definitely wanted to go to another universe and cause trouble everywhere. Perhaps the de-aging wasn't the best idea for the inhabitants of the other universe's well-being. Well, it wasn't really a de-aging, just that they  _looked_  younger. Both the Doctor and the Master looked eleven, which they both agreed was better for causing trouble. Everyone else had left already, leaving the two friends together, although some had thought it was a bad idea. They were correct, obviously, but Jack and the other Torchwood members had put guards on all exits surrounding the flight deck. Also, the TARDIS happened to be in another room.

"Let's do it," the Doctor said. "Glad your mind is cured from the drums, otherwise, we won't be having so much fun!"

The Master nodded before smiling. "So…"

" **The easiest way into another universe would be to bind ourselves to the heart of the TARDIS…" the Doctor stated calmly.**

" **Set her to random…" the Master continued without missing a beat, both Time Lords falling into their familiar and missed rhythm.**

" **Jump her into the untempered schism outside the wreckage of Gallifrey…"**

" **And hope for the best," finished the Master as he started grinning the way only a madman could. The Doctor echoed it effortlessly.**

The two ran from the flight deck of the Valiant ( _and here I am, forgetting where they were during the end of "the Last of the Time Lords")_ , jumped off ( _because, duh, it totally wasn't closed on all sides_ ), and looked at each other as they hurled towards the ground. The ground, fortunately (but unfortunately), was still a very long way off.

The Doctor fumbled with his TARDIS key, summoned the TARDIS, and they fell inside. As soon as he got his bearings, the Doctor set the coordinates for Gallifrey, and the TARDIS disappeared.

-a little scene as he summons the TARDIS-

Jack looked up to hear the whooshing noise of the TARDIS as it slowly disappeared from sight. He looked at the guards, who were standing exactly where they had been.

"Did one of you let the Doctor out?" he asked Gwen.

"No," Gwen frowned. She ran into the room and yelled back at Jack, "They're gone!"

Jack and the other Torchwood members ran inside and looked around.

"But they can't have left! The TARDIS was outside, and none of us saw them leaving!" Tosh said, or actually, screamed. "The Doctor and the Master are good, sure, but they can't teleport! Or turn invisible! In fact, we didn't even see the door opening!"

By this time, Jack had walked to the window, which had been broken (and for some reason, despite being _ thousand feet in the air, the pressure wasn't killing them, maybe it's because of some air shield?), just in time to see the disappearing figures of the Doctor and the Master, with a TARDIS below them. They fell inside and the TARDIS vanished.

"They jumped out the window," Jack told his team calmly.

"Does that mean they're dead?" Owen asked.

"They used the TARDIS," Jack replied. "Probably off on another adventure."

The group stared out the window, just in time to see a gigantic portion of the sky just seem to explode. It was probably the TARDIS blasting a Belgium-sized hole into another universe, which somehow everyone could see. Fortunately, the hole closed up in a few seconds, otherwise Torchwood and UNIT would have problems for another few hundred years.

-back to the TARDIS (which, I guess, could be the future as well)-

"The coordinates are set at random, and she's going to fly into the schism in exactly 42.11 seconds," the Doctor yelled. "Let's get to the heart of the TARDIS, quickly!"

42.11 seconds later,  **the Time Lords hit the floor with a resonating thud and loud groans.**

"Hey, I think we made it," the Master commented. "Ow..."

"Beats being exterminated any day, though," the Doctor replied, laughing as he helped the Master to his feet.

"You know, we're in this room full of angry-looking stick-pointing people, right?" the Master asked, hiding his grin. This universe seemed very fun, indeed.

"Hi friendly stick-wielders, my name is…" the Doctor began.

" _ **Use your nickname, idiot**_ "  **the Master hissed telepathically.** " _ **I don't think they'll take kindly to our chosen titles!"**_

" **...is Theta Sigma," he continued, as if nothing had happened.**  "And this is Koschei. But you can call us John Smith and Harold Saxon! I'm John by the way." The Doctor waved at the wizards.

Maybe the wizards didn't like being waved at, or maybe they didn't like the name 'John Smith' or 'Harold Saxon', but either way, they began shooting colourful jets of light from all sides. Yes, the Doctor and the Master were surrounded by a group of confused and angry wizards.

**Both ducked under and around the jets of light that raced towards them. The adults were in an uproar as two 11-year-olds escaped the most skilled attacks in an elaborate dance that had no blind spots. They were untouchable and invincible in the simplest way imaginable.**

"Stop firing!" a really old looking guy yelled. Apparently, he was a man of importance or something, because the group of adults obeyed him without question. The two boys looked completely fine. In fact, they didn't even look tired at all.

The old guy looked at the boys carefully, after all, they could be with Voldemort or… no, Voldemort wouldn't use children, especially not muggle children. Well, they  _could_  be muggles…

"How did you apparate into Hogwarts?" a stern old lady asked. At this point, the Doctor and the Master had sort of been reading the old lady's mind, and figured out quite a lot of important information. For instance, her name was Professor McGonagall, they were wizards and witches, they apparently thought Theta and Koschei were non-magical people, and much more.

"Who in their right mind would name a school… Hogwarts?" they asked simultaneously.

The wizards and witches looked highly offended.

"Well…" Professor McGonagall began. "We're the teachers at this school. Believe it or not, magic exists. We are wizards and witches, and we," she gestured at the other adults and herself, "are the teachers of Hogwarts."

"If, perhaps, you have magic potential, you can attend school here. The next term will start in about two weeks," a squeaky voice called out. A teacher stepped forward from the crowd, and the Doctor and the Master looked down to see - " _Professor Flitwick"_  - they telepathed to each other at the same time.

"I'm Professor Flitwick," he said, introducing himself. "Just so you know, I'm part goblin, in case you weren't aware of any other species. That was Professor McGonagall, the deputy headmistress."

" _Haha. Aware of other species. Totally,"_  the Master telepathed to the Doctor, both of them suppressing their smirks.

" _ **Hi**_ ," the Master growled at Professor Flitwick in gobbledygook.

" _ **Are you… speaking… the language of the goblins?**_ " Professor Flitwick asked, looking very surprised. "I can barely speak the language, and I'm part goblin!" He turned to the other professors. "They're probably not muggles. Perhaps they should come to Hogwarts for the upcoming school year."

"I second!" Professor Dumbledore announced. They figured out the old guy was called Dumbledore thanks to his failed attempt at reading their minds. No doubt he would try again. "Professor McGonagall, please take the boys to Diagon Alley to buy their supplies. Thank you, and our staff meeting is over!"

"Come with me," Professor McGonagall said in her usual stern voice. "Do not fool around while you are with me. And hold on to my hand tightly."

They obeyed, and soon the professor disapparated and appeared in Diagon Alley (Dumbledore took down the barriers temporarily). Professor McGonagall barely hid her look of surprise when the boys looked completely fine.

"Do you not feel a bit sick?" she asked them cautiously.

"Sick? Why? The 'apparition'?" Theta, or John as he liked to call himself, asked.

"Yes. Most people throw up on their first trip. Others just collapse, but you two…" she trailed off.

"Oh," the Master said after a few seconds. "It was nothing, compared to Thete piloting the ship," he replied, sending the Doctor a little grin.

"Hey!" the Doctor yelled. "I'm not as bad as you are! Anyways, it's supposed to be piloted by six people! Mine is also a type 40, yours is a type 45!"

"Well, I'm not the one that landed in Cardiff instead of Naples, and 1869 instead of 1860!" the Master countered. The Doctor just glared at him.

"I'm just brought to places she thinks is important!" the Doctor said. "Um, where do we get supplies?"

Professor McGonagall gave them a list of supplies for first years. "Meet back here by 4:00pm, don't be late, here's some money from Dumbledore," she said, handing them a small bag of coins, and giving them one last look before disapparating.

"Doesn't she know it's only 10:39am?" the Master asked, looking at the list in his hands.

"10:39:32am," the Doctor corrected. "Well, not anymore. But there's probably a whole lot of wizard materials they use at…" he paused, swallowing slowly. "Hogwarts." Unfortunately, his mini second of preparation did not help at all, and both of them burst out into laughter, which quieted almost immediately. They were used to silencing themselves, after all. It helped quite a lot when they met the aliens that hated laughing.

"Okay. Let's see… money," the Master read aloud. "Well, Dumbledore gave us some, since they have a funding for children that require supplies… And then we need… BOOKS!"

They ran off to Flourish and Blotts, the bookstore, and promptly bought all the required materials for first year through seventh year, and a whole bunch of other books for fun. Actually… they just read the other books, super fast, so they wouldn't spend all the money.

Next, they bought the cauldron, and many other supplies, until the second to last item on the list: a wand.

"Cool!" they exclaimed simultaneously. Both ran to Ollivanders, and entered the small, dusty shop.

"First years, here for a wand?" he asked them. "Let's see… Which is your wand arm?"

The Doctor and the Master looked at each other. "Ambidextrous, but prefer right hand," they said, looking back at Ollivanders.

" _I think these wizards, they're human, but they have a sort of low-level psychic energy around them,"_  the Doctor thought. " _Everything in the universe is connected by an unnoticeable field of psychic energy, and these wizards, using their wands that have mystic cores, can tap into it, using special words. They can then manipulate almost anything, since the wands.._ "

" _Yes, I got it already! You know, it's only been half a second, but we should get these wands and go,_ " the Master cut the Doctor off mid-sentence, earning him a pout from his friend. Meanwhile, a magic tape was going around measuring them.

Ollivander took out a box, barely began opening it when: "Is that for him, or for me?" the Doctor asked.

"Your friend," Ollivander replied, taking the wand out.

"Wrong wand," the two Time Lords said at the same time. "The right wands should be near the back of your shop," the Doctor said.

" _Wow. Our wands are basically in a Bootstrap Paradox,_ " the Master telepathed as soon as Ollivander left to see what exactly the Doctor had been talking about. " _After our fun adventure at Hogwarts, we will travel back in time, and put our wands here, for our past selves to find it._ "

"Finding paradoxes in another universe, brilliant!" the Doctor replied aloud, just in time to see Ollivander come back with two old and way-too-dusty boxes.

"These were the only ones at the back of the shop," he said. "Are you sure? My grandfather had them, he said two of his friends gave it to him."

"Completely sure," they answered. The Doctor took the one on the right, and the Master took the one on the left. When they opened the boxes, they noticed the wands were nearly identical, with silver designs - Circular Gallifreyan - carved into the handle. The Doctor noticed that it was "Doctor" and "Master" respectively.

After a few minutes of silent wand-studying, Ollivander broke the silence. (Broke the Silence… would be better).

"You sure these are the right ones? When a wand chooses its owner, there's normally a spectacular display…" he trailed off, staring at the two wands, which were emitting a cheerful, warm-looking golden light, which faded after a few seconds. "Like that."

After they paid Ollivander for their wands, they headed off to the ice cream shop.

"Can't believe it's already a quarter to four," the Master said, buying some ice cream. "You have to admit though, those robes look horrendous!" The main reason why they had taken so long was because they had argued way too much with Madam Malkin.

"At least the ice cream tastes great," the Doctor announced. "Not half as good as the ones in the Alpha Centauri system, but still."

They had eaten their giant ice creams for fifteen minutes, having pleasant, not-threatening-each-other conversations, until Professor McGonagall showed up. When they spotted her walking towards them, they looked at each other.

"She's five seconds late," the Master said.

"Professor Dumbledore has decided that you will stay in the Leaky Cauldron, an inn, until school starts," Professor McGonagall began. The two troublemakers knew that a long speech was coming, so they tuned her out, instead focusing on some of the professor's possible futures. After all, if they just concentrated slightly, they could call up the entire 'conversation' from their subconsciousness. They began listening again in time to hear her say: "Remember, it's Platform Nine and Three-Quarters at Kings Cross Station."

She lead them to the Leaky Cauldron, booked a room for them, and then left to prepare for the start of the term feast. Meanwhile, the Doctor and the Master began studying the textbooks, learning all the information the first years would study. By five in the morning, they had mastered the first year charms, potions, defence against the dark arts, herbology, and transfiguration. They didn't bother with Astronomy or History - seriously, why would they? The Doctor and the Master, along with the other Time Lords, were literally the universal experts at that. They were. Even though troublemakers like Theta and Koschei never paid attention in class, they still knew just about everything.

Two weeks later, on September 1, they had finished the first year books through fourth year books. Sure, they could have finished the entire seven courses, but they just  _had_  to start an ice-cream fight, or release a dragon on the wizards - hey, it wasn't their fault they spoke dragon, and anyways, she was hungry. They were just bored!

Upon arriving at Kings Cross Station, they quickly found Platform Nine and Three-Quarters, casually strolling through the wall, and nearly getting run over by a redheaded boy who was pushing a heavy trolley filled with his supplies. The Doctor and the Master had backpacks, which were obviously bigger on the inside. An *cough, cough* undetectable extension charm, obviously.

"Watch it!" he yelled, turning to look at them. "Oh, sorry, first years?" he began to look a little nervous, and he seemed to be glancing at his friend. Most likely, he was in love with…  _her_ , but whether or not she returned the affection…

"Ron! Don't be so mean!" the girl chided him. "I'm Hermione, by the way. Third year. You two should probably board the train, they're leaving soon." With that, Hermione ran off and disappeared onto the train.

The Doctor and the Master quickly followed, passing many compartments (including one with a  **lupavariform** ), and finally sitting a compartment with a blonde girl in it. She was reading a colorful magazine, upside down, and looked up when they entered.

"Hi. I'm Luna Lovegood," she said dreamily.

"John Smith, and this over here is Harold Saxon"

" **I'm Luna Lovegood, and please don't feel bad about giving me an alias."**

**Both blinked and stared at her, surprised, "Right, fine," the other said as he recognised her as someone with diluted Arcateenian blood.**

**The Arcateenians were also known as 'butterfly people' and shone blue. Being a highly telepathic race, their blood made humans aware of lies and gave them a natural shell of mild insanity to hide behind when they felt threatened. If someone trustworthy wasn't found for them to talk to properly after five to six years of hiding, then they would permanently act crazy, while in actuality be intuitive, resourceful, and extremely loyal.**

"Well… I tend to go by the Master," the Master began. "And he's the Doctor. But we chose our favorite aliases so we don't seem as..."

" **Alien-y," Luna said dryly, with a raised eyebrow. Both boys looked at her for a few moments then allowed grins to take over their faces.**

" **Glad that you're back, Ms. Lovegood," John said with a fist bump, "Do you know about…"**

" **The fact that my great-great-grandmother Alice was an Arcateenian," she asked, "Or the fact that if I had found no one in the next two years to confide in, I'd truly become what I was hiding behind?"**

" **Both, actually," Saxon interjected, "And… what is that?"**

**The train had just shuddered to a halt, and the compartment had become freezing cold, frost forming on the windows. Their breath became visible.**


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter! :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! It's been about half a year (slightly more), but I waited until the 13th for a reason. It's some important people's birthdays. One of them is named Julius Caesar.
> 
> Anyway, regardless of ancient Roman Emperor's birthdays, Enjoy the story!

**Chapter Two**

The dementors, really, hadn't been that much of a problem. Really. The only problems were the werewolf and the 'Boy-Who-Lived', who were currently blocking the entrance to their compartment.

"Here. Have some chocolate, it helps with the dementors' effects," the werewolf - Remus Lupin - advised, handing them a few pieces of chocolate. Of course, the Doctor and the Master didn't actually need it, but everyone wants free chocolate when it's offered, right? So the two friends took some, and saw Luna doing the same.

Meanwhile, Harry was watching the two first years and Luna, wondering what they had seen for them to react so badly to the dementors and faint like he did. Luna's, obviously, was watching her own mother die. He kept thinking about this topic, then decided that whatever it was, it was the first years' own problem. Not Harry's.

"- lupavariform," Harry heard the first year who had slightly lighter colored hair say. Okay, these first years were definitely a bit weird. First, they faint from a dementor attack, and second, they're making up words for fun. Of course, they were children, so creating kid words was normal, right? Harry had never done that before, so he wasn't too sure.

Professor Lupin, the lupavariform aka werewolf, looked at the two first years. At least, he was sure they were, since they looked eleven, but...

"How did you know?" he asked them carefully.

"Know what?" Harry wondered. Professor Lupin looked at Harry, having forgotten that James Potter's son was standing right next to him.

"It was obvious," the other first year sighed dramatically. "I'd go into detail, but-" at this, he nodded at Harry.

"What?" Harry really did not like being left out of the loop. While he had been pondering some random probabilities, Professor Lupin and the two first years had apparently discussed something very important.

"Come to my classroom the second day after classes begin, and explain," Professor Lupin sighed. Really, what was wrong with Harry knowing? He resolved to find out by using his invisibility cloak. Maybe he would even let his two best friends in on the plan. After thinking about his plan of action for a while, he snuck out of the compartment and entered his own.

"Harry!" Ron called. "Where have you been?"

"We're arriving at Hogwarts soon. We'll go out, and you can change," Hermione said. Harry noticed that they were both wearing their school robes.

"Thanks," Harry said, watching his two friends leave. So 'discussing the plan' could probably be done during the feast.

Within twenty minutes, the train had stopped at Hogsmeade Station. The students all left, including Luna (and friends).

"I'll see you at Hogwarts," she called to her new first-year friends, who were aliens like she was. Or at least part-alien. "First years take the boats, and everyone else-" she nodded at the thestrals.

Having seen way too much death, they noticed the thestrals easily, and being who they were, found them very interesting.

"They live in the Forbidden Forest, if you want to meet them," Luna said, walking over and petting one, before boarding a carriage.

"How come we get boats?" the Master whined. "Boats are boring. I think we should all swim!" With that, he waved his wand and the boats all burst into flame.

You'd think that being boats from a magic school, and being on top of a lake, they'd be at least partially fireproof, right? Or maybe they would have replacements? Sadly, they never seemed to think a first year (or another student), would ever bother trying to set the boats on fire. Therefore, the boats were incinerated in a nice, big, warm column of fire.

One of the first years stared at it. "I think I'll walk instead," she muttered.

"I CAN'T SWIM!" another yelled loudly. This was responded to with phrases like "Me neither" and "You're an idiot".

"We're not even at Hogwarts, and you've already caused some trouble," The Doctor said, faintly amused. "There's a giant squid in the lake!" he said. "We should totally swim, and meet it!"

With that, they both jumped in, made a giant splash, and got wet. The other first years all got wet as well. Who knew cannonballs could do so much… water damage…?

"...," for once, Hagrid had nothing to say. Except "We're walking." the first years all started up the path the carriages normally took. Hagrid glanced at the water, sighing, because hey, they probably drowned. Plus he hadn't seen them surface for.. Ooh… a super long time.

Meanwhile, the two Time Lords were just holding their breath, looking for the squid (because according to Luna, there  _was_  a giant squid).

 _"Do you speak squid?"_  the Doctor asked.

 _"Of course. It's a bit easy. They're telepathic, like most water creatures,"_  his friend replied.  _"Although, their language is super interesting."_

_"Does the TARDIS still translate, or is it out of range? Where is she again?"_

_"I think… she's back in our universe, but will most likely come whenever we decide to leave. So no translators."_

_"I guess this means speaking English…"_ If you could see in the dark, underwater, you would have seen the two friends' dejected expressions, which brightened as soon as they met the squid.

 _"First years?"_  the squid was thinking.  _"What are they doing in the lake? Aren't they supposed to be on the boats? Oh yes, they probably fell off."_

 _"We decided to swim,"_ the Master said. _"Boats are boring. So you're the giant squid? What's your name?"_

If squids could have surprised expressions, this one certainly did. He wasn't too sure  _how_  two first years were still underwater and not dying, and how they weren't crashing into seaweed or random fish, or  _why_  they decided to swim in the first place, or how they even knew squid language and were talking in his head… but they were there, having a pleasant, non-threatening conversation with him, so okay.

 _"It's Charles Dasquid the second, giant squid resident of Hogwarts Lake,"_  he replied.

 _"You do know that we just heard all your thoughts, right?"_ the other first year said.  _"Hi Charles Dasquid. The second."_

After a super long conversation, in which Charles Dasquid still wondered how the kids didn't drown, the Doctor and the Master bid goodbye before getting out of the lake.

"We know drying charms… but no one cares about being wet. Hey look, they're coming!" he pointed to the first years who were complaining loudly as they trudged toward the castle. Actually, they were so far away, it was surprising. Those first years were taking so long! The two friends had a conversation in the lake for who-knows-how-long, but the other children… were still barely visible, even though they had amazing eyesight (yes, it works in the dark, or they wouldn't have seen anything).

At the feast, the Hogwarts people were wondering why the boats were taking so long this year. It had been an entire hour, and no signs of the people-to-be-sorted.

"You might want to check the path," the Sorting Hat suggested. Everyone turned to look at the hat, which doesn't say anything except for "Gryffindor", "Hufflepuff", "Ravenclaw", and "Slytherin". Excluding what it says when it's sitting on other people's heads in their minds, and singing its amazing songs, obviously.

Only Professor Dumbledore didn't look fazed. "Which path?" he inquired. Even though Professor Dumbledore had no idea how the hat knew where the first years were, he trusted the hat. That sounded… a bit weird, but when you're a wizard, and magic is an everyday occurence, trusting a hat wasn't too low on the 'only insane people do this' list.

"Thestrals," the hat replied simply.

Professor Dumbledore understood at once. He quickly called Professor McGonagall and Professor Sprout, left Professor Flitwick in charge, and headed towards the path.

"Headmaster, where are we going?" Professor Sprout asked. "What did the hat - and I'm still not sure how the hat can talk, I mean it sings, but actually talk - say thestrals? Does that mean something?"

"The hat means the path the carriages take on their way to the castle," Professor McGonagall replied. "Why are they on the path anyways?"

"I suppose we'll find out," the headmaster said.

They walked on, until they saw two first years standing there, looking down the path. At what, the professors weren't too sure, but they certainly looked… entertained.

"Where are the other first years?" Professor Sprout asked. "Why aren't you at the castle?" This was when they noticed the two were dripping wet.

"Oh. The boats burned up, so we swam here. The others decided to walk," he pointed down the path at a seemingly empty patch of darkness. "I'm John Smith, by the way. Remember?"

Of course Professor McGonagall remembered the two first years that had randomly appeared inside Hogwarts one day, less than a month ago.

"And you swam?" she asked, not believing this story. First of all, why would the boats burn up? Secondly, who in their right mind would decide to swim across the lake? It was probably more likely that John and Harold did something, but Professor McGonagall didn't have any proof.

"Yeah," he replied. Professor McGonagall and the other professors began walking down the road, towards where the other first years supposedly were.

"Professor Dumbledore!" Hagrid called (I will NOT type Hagrid speech because I'm too lazy - I guess I'll try sometimes though?). "We've arrived!"

The first years, who were trudging along quietly were all sweating from their exercise, showing that most of them weren't actually that fit. Only a few wizards, most of whom were muggleborns, did not look as if they would collapse from exhaustion.

"Come along now, first years. We've got to finish the sorting and the feast. Then you can all go have a good night's sleep," Professor McGonagall tried to encourage the bedraggled first years. Professor McGonagall's tactic seemed to work, as the first years seemed to cheer up and looked more energized. They hurried inside the Great Hall and Professor McGonagall began the sorting ceremony.

Harry really wasn't paying that much attention to the sorting. He did look up occasionally and clap enthusiastically with his house, though.

"Saxon, Harold!" One of the first years that had a secret Harry apparently couldn't hear about walked up to the hat confidently. However, his facial expression suggested "I don't want to get head lice from wearing that hat" or something like that.

The hat sat on Harold's head for a good half hour, before it yelled (and Harry was sure the hat had said that with a tone of resignation), "Slytherin!"

The next candidate was "Smith, John!" The other first year, possibly best friend of Harold Saxon. Like his friend who wore the hat before him, it took the rest of an hour- resulting in some people beginning to nod off (fortunately the clapping startled them awake). The hat yelled "Gryffindor!" with an even more resigned tone, and John sauntered over to the red-and-gold table.

John shot a very indiscreet thumbs up towards his friend (perhaps enemy, now?) and beamed. Harry supposed their friendship wouldn't last very long anymore, as their two houses were enemies and the members of one house hated the members of the other house.

When Harry saw Harold give John thumbs up back, however, Harry had a foreboding feeling. Perhaps he would figure something out after following them -

Harry quickly turned to his friends Ron and Hermione.

"Guys, two of the first years have some secret that they're telling Professor Lupin on the second day after classes begin," Harry said quietly. "It sounded really important."

"Well, if they have secrets, they can keep them," Hermione replied. "We can't just go invade their privacy. We have our own secrets, too, right? How would you feel if you found out someone was listening to your secrets?"

"They won't find out, though," Ron argued. "So it's fine."

Actually, with their superior hearing, the Doctor and the Master had both heard the trio's plan already. It wasn't like they cared either way, though.

 _"Technically, it's Professor Lupin's secret,"_  the Master was currently tuning out the 'he's probably a mudblood' insults from all around him.

 _"Sort of our secret on how we found out though,"_  the Doctor replied.

 _"It's going to be so awesome because our two houses are enemies!"_  the Master sounded as excited as one could be when talking telepathically.

_"That was a great idea you had. I guess it only worked because the hat got tired of arguing with us though."_

Finally, the feast was over. The new students followed their prefects to the dorms.

 _"Hey, apparently Slither In is located in the dungeons,"_ the Master telepathed.

_"Griffin Door is up in one of the towers."_

_"Do you think, if we snuck out at night, we could play a game of 'avoid the prefects'?"_

_"Why not, it's not like we have to sleep much. 'Avoid the prefects' sounds so fun!"_

_"It's not like they'll catch us anyway."_

_"Classes sound so exciting. It means showing off in front of wizard teachers!"_

_"Maybe we'll actually pay attention, instead of what we did back at the Academy."_

_"Oh, yeah, the council was so mad at us,"_ the Doctor wasn't paying attention while the prefect said the password, but he was sure he'd be able to recall it if necessary.

_"Meet you later. Fourth floor corridor, 'kay?"_

_"Okay."_

The two friends crawled into their respective beds and waited for their fellow roommates to fall asleep before making their way to the fourth floor. On the way there, they ghosted around teachers and prefects alike.

 _"Their security is_ terrible _,"_ the Master complained.  _"You'd think, being a wizarding school, they would at least have magical means of security."_

_"They're all still in the thirteenth century or something. They don't even have much technology!"_

_"True. They even live in a drafty old castle."_

They decided to spend their nights exploring the castle. After all, it was a rather large castle, and who wouldn't want to walk around it in the middle of the night?

"Oh, looks like it's almost sunrise. See you later, Koschei!"

"See you in a few hours."

They parted and made their way to their dormitories before the sun rose.

The next morning, Dumbledore was in his office, thinking about two of the new first years. Namely, Theta and Koschei, or as they liked to call themselves, John Smith and Harold Saxon. Despite being an old, powerful, and wise wizard, he could not understand how two eleven-year-olds managed to appear inside Hogwarts. The two seemed to be rather agile as well, if their effortless dodging of the multitude of spells meant anything.

Dumbledore knew he should keep a close eye on the two, and it was proven by the reports he received:

"Professor," the Ravenclaw prefect reported. "I believe one or two of the students were out last night, wandering the corridors."

"Thank you," Dumbledore waved his hand, dismissing the prefect. Just as the Ravenclaw prefect left, however, another student entered.

"I saw a student wandering the dungeons last night," the Slytherin prefect said. Then, obviously not wanting to stay in the same room as Dumbledore any longer, he turned, and left.

Two professors entered next, and Dumbledore sighed.

"Let me guess," he said. "One or two students were seen wandering the corridors?"

"We think so," Professor Sprout replied. "I didn't see them very clearly. It could have been shadows casted by the clouds."

"I only saw them for a split second, or maybe I was imagining them," Professor Sinistra added.

Dumbledore, who had been suspecting either the Golden Trio of Harry, Ron, and Hermione, or John and Harold, was now almost completely sure it was the latter. The two were obviously very agile, and could probably move out of the teachers' line of vision in the blink of an eye. He didn't want to underestimate those two.

"Oh, looks like it's time for breakfast," Dumbledore announced. Headmaster Dumbledore, Professor Sinistra, and Professor Sprout went downstairs to enjoy the tasty house-elf cooked pancakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Caralinguiel  
> July 13, 2018


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Three!  
> Posted January 11, 2019 because of a fictional character's birthday. Kudos to anyone who guesses who it is ;)

**Chapter Three**

The Heads of House came by during breakfast and passed out schedules for the day. Theta and Koschei immediately scoured their schedules to try and find classes with both the Gryffindors and Slytherins.

" _Found one! Double Potions with Snape,"_ the Master called gleefully.

" _Looks like we have Astronomy with the entire first year."_

" _Astronomy's going to be such an easy class…"_

" _We have Double Defense Against the Dark Arts on some days and Double Transfiguration on other days!"_

" _Oh but Herbology is with the other houses."_

The Doctor was also paying slight attention to his surroundings.

"History with Binns is so booooooriiiing!" he heard Harry Potter say.

"Why is History boring?" the Doctor asked.

Harry turned around to face the first year that was asking him a question.

"Professor Binns is a ghost. He speaks in a constant monotone and only teaches about goblin wars, and he always drones on and on and on and on…"

"He was sleeping in front of a fire, and died, but continued teaching. He doesn't even realize he's a ghost!" Ron said. "That's what the rumors say anyway."

" _We should totally start a history class, as we have Double History. I've heard that the history teacher, Professor Binns, is a boring old ghost who causes everyone listening to fall asleep,"_ the Doctor alerted his friend.

" _I see. I'm sure we can teach all about aliens, because that's just awesome."_

" _I think we're biased as we technically are aliens. Aliens to the inhabitants of Earth. Not aliens to ourselves."_

" _Anyway, it seems we have Double Transfiguration first!"_

The stopped their conversation and made their way to Professor McGonagall's classroom.

They entered the classroom and saw the class half full, so they sat down at two empty seats at the front of the class. On the teacher's desk was a cat.

"Hi Professor," they chorused.

"What professor?" a first year asked, looking around. "Where?"

"She's right there…" the Master trailed off.

_"I don't think they know the cat is Professor McKitty."_

_"... It's kind of obvious though."_

_"To us, not to them."_

"Never mind, I can't see any professors… oh, she left."

Other than the cat event, their Transfiguration class passed rather smoothly. Professor McKitty instructed them to transform a matchstick into a needle, something both of them did with ease. It earned them five house points, each, while the other students stared at them in awe.

"How did you do that?" a student asked.

"It just happened!" the Master replied, his eyes wide in 'surprise'. "That's so cool! I didn't think it would  _actually_  work!"

Their classes for the rest of the day were less eventful, if Transfiguration had even been eventful in the first place. Neither of them had classes together, so they communicated through their mental bond.

 _"We didn't actually do much in Herbology, unless you count walking around a few greenhouses something,"_  the Doctor said.  _"She's saying a lot on Greenhouse Safety Rules. See?"_

The Master stopped paying attention to his professor to listen in on Professor Sprout.

_"Greenhouse Safety Rule Eighty Three. Do not enter the greenhouse without permission."_

_"Shouldn't that be rule number one?"_ the Master questioned.

_"Rule number one was "Don't eat any plants" or something."_

_"Well, if they don't enter the greenhouse, how are they supposed to eat the plants?"_  the Master asked as if it were obvious.

_"Most of the students aren't paying attention anymore."_

"Mr. Saxon!" the professor's said loudly. "Were you paying attention to what I just said?"

"Yes, Professor Flitwick," the Master replied.

"Can you tell me what we were just discussing, then?"

"We were discussing a few important Charms we would be learning this month," Harold said, listing out the charms he he had heard Professor Flitwick say. Although he hadn't been paying attention, he had still heard the Professor, and so he remembered it subconsciously. "The Levitation Charm, Wand-Lighting Charm, Wand-Extinguishing Charm, Unlocking Charm, and a few more. We'll also be learning how to make a pineapple dance on a table next month. Should I list the rest of the charms?"

"No, but next time, please don't stare at a corner of the wall," Professor Flitwick said. "It makes it seem as if you aren't paying attention."

Professor Flitwick continued the lesson. "Today we will be starting with the Levitation Charm! Does anyone know the incantation for this?"

A few students raised their hands, Harold being no exception.

"Yes, Mr. Saxon?" Professor Flitwick asked.

"Wingardium Leviosa. You wave your wand like this," he replied, demonstrating the wand movements.

"Correct, Mr. Saxon. Five points to Slytherin."

They practiced the charm for the rest of the class. Harold pretended to struggle with the charm, and had to admit he was a pretty good actor. Although, at the end, he did perform it successfully, attributing his success to the professor's help.

Soon, class was dismissed, and the students hurried down to the Great Hall for lunch.

_"After lunch we won't have classes, right?"_

_"Nope,"_  the Doctor replied.  _"Any plans for this afternoon?"_

_"Let's spy on some classes!"_

_"That actually sounds fun. Which class are you thinking of?"_

_"Defense Against the Dark Arts. I want to see how Lupin teaches."_

_"Okay, Defense Against the Dark Arts it is then."_

At lunch, they sat together at the Gryffindor table, causing the nearby Gryffindor students to look at Harold in disgust.

"What's  _he_  doing here?" a girl asked.

"Why's a Slytherin at our table?" another student frowned.

* * *

"What's this?" Harry asked as he and his friends came to lunch. They were a little late, just a little, as Hermione had gone to the library to check out a few more books for light reading. Harry could disagree with the word "light", however, as the books were twice the size of their textbooks. And Hermione had five of them.

Harry stopped upon seeing what was causing the commotion. So, the two were still friends, as Harry had thought. If they were going as far as sitting together, that meant a lot.

"What's a Slytherin doing here?" Ron's angry voice startled Harry out of his thoughts.

"Oh," John said nonchalantly. "We wanted to talk about school at Hogwarts, you know?"

"Yup!" Harold continued, popping the "p". "It's easier talking to someone face to face than communicating in other ways."

"You don't want us sending letters by owl such short distances, right?" John asked, gesturing to the Slytherin table and back. "It would be a complete waste. The owl treats would cost so much…"

Harry looked back and forth, as somehow he'd gotten in between them.

"Okay…." he muttered, not believing them. "And would letters by owl really be the only way you could communicate?"

"Well," John said, sounding extra cheerful. The grin on his face unnerved Harry. A lot. "We  _could_  always talk telepathically, but then, no one could eavesdrop on our conversation, right?"

Harold nodded as if it were obvious. "It isn't fun if no one's trying to listen!"

Harry didn't know if this was a joke or not. Telepathically? Telepathy his… yeah, no, he wasn't about to start swearing or anything. Still, if they thought he was going to believe them… Harry opened his mouth to tell them telepathy wasn't real.

"Look, you might have been friends from before school," Ron interrupted him. "But now you're at Hogwarts. You're in rival houses. Gryffindors and Slytherin can't be seen together. It's just not a Hogwarts thing! So it would be better if Harold went back to his table."

"Ron!" Hermione chided him. "You're being rude!"

"What?" he asked. "I'm speaking the truth!"

"Sorry about him," Hermione said, smiling. "But he's right. This is my third year, and Gryffindor-Slytherin friendships are frowned at. There isn't even one."

"There is one now," John and Harold said at the exact same time. If Harry hadn't known that telepathy  _was NOT_ real, he would have thought they had communicated telepathically. Or they were another Fred and George. Harry shuddered at the thought.

"Well, I'm done eating anyway," John stood and stretched. "Meet you at the lake," he said as he left. Harold followed him a few minutes later.

Harry turned his attention back to his plate and realized he hadn't even started eating yet. He hastily began grabbing food and eating; hopefully he would finish before it disappeared.

"So, what do you think about them?" Hermione asked.

"What I think about them?" Ron said angrily. "They should end their friendship before it's too late!"

"It sounds like you're the one who will do something to them," Harry joked.

"Well, I mean, look at the Gryffindors and Slytherin. One side is going to do something. Or worse, both sides will target the two!"

Harry had to admit, Ron did have a point there. As both sides disapproved of the friendship, they were both going to do something about it. He just didn't know whether Gryffindor or Slytherin would snap first.

"Well, when I asked you what you thought about them, I meant what they said!" Hermione stopped Harry from replying. Honestly, why were both of his friends cutting Harry off right before he was going to speak?

"What did they say?" Ron asked. Of course Ron was the one who forgot.

"John implied that, even if they were sitting at tables across from each other, they could communicate telepathically," Harry reminded him.

"He didn't  _imply_ ," Hermione corrected him. "He  _said_  it. There's a difference."

"Right," Harry said.

"Because if he implied it, he could have meant something else."

"Yeah," Harry waited for Hermione to continue. Like he expected, she did.

"This means they've figured out how to do something that's been researched for the past four hundred and forty three years!" she exclaimed. "Do you know what this means?"

"No?" Ron said. "What's so important about that?"

"Were you even listening?" Hermione sighed, her patience wearing thin. "Come on. They know how to do what would be considered a major magical discovery!"

"So, how are they doing this…" Hermione muttered, trying to figure things out. "What sort of mind-related spells are there? Ron?"

"Uh, Legilimency? Occlumency? There's also the Imperius."

"Yes, yes," Hermione said. "They're probably using Legilimency. They could be reading each others' minds at the same time, and think of what they could be saying out loud… they must trust each other a lot for them to do that."

"Wait, how would first years know how to do legilimency?!" Ron asked. Ron was helpful when it came to spells, as he was the only one raised with wizards.

"They could have been trying this for years, maybe they stumbled upon an older relative's book or something…"

"But how do we know they're not lying?" Harry posed the question he'd been waiting to ask for the past half an hour.

"Oh, right," Hermione apparently hadn't thought about this. "Let's go ask them, then!"

"Wait, we can't just  _ask_  them!" Harry called out. Fortunately, Hermione happened to see a clock at that time, and she stopped suddenly.

"Our first DADA class starts in ten minutes! We're going to be late!" she ran towards the staircases.

"Wait for me!" Ron yelled, running to catch up. Harry followed his friends, wondering what sort of professor Lupin was. Hopefully not like the stuttering, constantly scared Professor Quirrell who had a Voldemort on the back of his head, and hopefully not like Gilderoy Lockhart.

* * *

"Hey, it seems classes are starting," the Master said from his spot in the tree. The Whomping Willow, to be exact. After walking around the school grounds, the two had stumbled upon the Whomping Willow. Somehow, they became friends. So while they took turns entertaining the tree with descriptions of other trees, they waited for classes to start.

"The DADA classroom should be over here…" the Doctor said. "Tada!"

The door to the classroom was open, and so they decided to peek.

"But just standing there is no fun," the Master complained. "Let's try hanging upside down."

They ended up hanging upside down on the door frame, constantly alert for passing teachers. Fortunately, none of them bothered looking up. It was true - people tended to look at eye level, instead of above or below, especially when they didn't have to.

* * *

Harry was in the middle of an entertaining lecture that was basically a review of what they should have learned first and second year.

"Next, we will be reviewing vampires. Does anyone know their weaknesses?"

As they hadn't actually learned, half the class looked around, confused. The other half actually studied by themselves, and they raised their hands. Ron, being one of the ones who didn't know anything, sighed. He leaned backwards, tilting his chair, and stayed there for a few minutes, perfectly balanced. Harry entertained himself by half listening to Professor Lupin's lecture, and half watching Ron. A while later, Ron tilted his head backwards, but suddenly his eyes widened in shock before he lost balance. His chair fell backwards and Ron ended up creating a domino effect, where all the tables and students behind him fell down.

"Seriously?" one of the knocked down kids asked. "What were you doing?"

"Sorry, I just saw two kids hanging from the ceiling."

At that, everyone turned around to look behind them simultaneously.

"Professor Lupin has been facing the door the whole time. He would have seen if there were," Hermione paused, frowning. "Kids hanging from the ceiling."

"No, they weren't exactly hanging, they were upside down. It was freaky!"

"What did they look like?" Professor Lupin inquired.

"Uh, let's see… Actually, I only saw them for a second before I fell, so I don't actually remember, but they had brown hair, at least one of them. I'm not really sure."

"Don't stress yourself too much, okay?" Professor Lupin asked. Clearly, everyone had forgotten it was only the first day of school. "Looks like we're out of time today, so for homework I'd like you to write a paragraph on your favorite creature."

"Favorite…?" a student asked. "How can we have a favorite scary creature?"

"I guess the ghosts are okay," another replied. "We learned about them first year."

After class was dismissed, Harry immediately searched for his friends. Ron was arguing with Hermione.

"I'm telling you, I saw them!" Ron yelled.

"Well, which years don't have classes right now?" Harry asked, preventing Hermione from replying.

"...You're right, I hadn't thought of that," Hermione said, pulling out a notebook from her bag. "Let's see…"

Of course Hermione would take notes on anything and everything, including what seemed unimportant. "The first years."

"The first years?!" Ron asked incredulously. "Why would they be here?"

"As a first year, wouldn't they be exploring the castle or something?" Harry reasoned. "Maybe they stumbled upon our class and found it interesting."

"But hanging upside down?"

"You have a point," Harry conceded, stumbling slightly as the stairs began to move. "You said there were two. Do we know any first years who go around in pairs?"

"Brown hair," Ron reminded him.

"The first people that come to mind are John Smith and Harold Saxon," Hermione said. "And I have this sinking feeling it is them. What are they up to?"

"No idea," Harry replied. "But let's not worry about that."

"You're actually doing your homework?"

"No, there's Quidditch practice for anyone on the team last year."

"Oh."

John and Harold didn't cause another house-rivalry commotion at dinner, mostly because they never showed up. Harry assumed they found the kitchen and ate there. He sighed as he reflected on the day's events, and realized this would be yet another hectic year at Hogwarts. Just another normal Hogwarts year for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Caralinguiel  
> January 11, 2019

**Author's Note:**

> To read the whole dementor part, since I have no clue as to what would happen, (and for the next chapter I'll just start with something around "They left the train") just read Fairyqueen101's story. Seriously, it's AMAZING! I don't know why no one else has come up with an idea like that yet. *sighs* To Be Continued!
> 
> Current updating will be twice a year. Sorry for such slow updates, but I have _ other stories to work on.
> 
> January 10, 2018


End file.
